Saturday, October 9, 2010

Movin' on - but not too far!

Hey everyone!

I've decided to start a new blog - this one's gettin' a little old.

The new one probably won't be a whole lot different, but it's got a different background and a funny picture at the top and stuff like that.

So check it out! It's called My Brand New Weight Loss Blog -

Thanks for reading "The Curvy Catholic" - hope you'll enjoy the newer incarnation of it!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Father Ted explains it all for you!

Just read a couple of articles today about "squatters" who take over abandoned blogs. So thought I'd better check in to let you know:

This blog has NOT been abandoned!

Like Father Ted's funds - it's just resting in my account!

Yeah ... that's the ticket!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Blogger's vacation? and speech suggestions needed!

Hmm, yeah, I know, I was going to post more often and now here I am, blithely checking in after only, what, two weeks?


But this seems to happen with every new blog I start.

I get all enthusiastic - "THIS time I'm gonna be the best blogger in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD YAYYY!!!"

I post every day, or at least regularly, for a few weeks.

Then on my regular posting day, I sleep in - Aww, no one will notice if I miss ONE DAY, right?

Then another day, I get all caught up in ... well ... LIFE. Biking, or reading a really good book or (embarrassingly enough) reading someone ELSE'S really hot blog.

And before I know it, it's been ... well ... two weeks since I posted and I can't think of anything to say!

OK, I DO know something I can write about! I'm supposed to do a humorous speech at my Toastmasters club on August 25.


Any ideas?

I promise to blog more often if you come up with anything good!!! ;-) ;-) ;-)

Monday, August 2, 2010

Bottled Gold!

I've been recycling a lot lately.

I'm one of those people you see at the gas station or the park, busily digging through the trash in search of the Holy Grail of recyclers: glass bottles!

Actually, beer cans and water bottles are just fine, too. Some of the plastic bottles bring 10 cents, most only 5 cents. But hey, every little bit counts, right?

And for those who are too fastidous to dig through the trash, I've noticed that, especially on hot days, people have a strange tendency to buy a bottle of water or soda, take one or two big swigs, then chuck it to the ground - not even bothering to look for a trash can.

What slobs! But hey, more for us dainty types!

I don't really bring in a whole lot of cash this way, but it gives me an extra added incentive to go out and walk every day.

Recycling - Good for the bottle, good for my can!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My folding bike - not so comfy but great against coyotes

(I posted essentially the same version of this story in today's Folding Bike section of Bike Forums - enjoy!)

So today I got my Schwinn Hinge Folding Bike back from the bike shop (Metropolis Bikes in North Hollywood), where I'd left it for a tune-up, and was pleased to find that they'd not only done a thorough job of checking it over, they also installed a metal bottle cage on the handlebars, free of charge - thanks guys & gals!

I drove it a few miles to Valhalla Memorial Park, a totally cool cemetery with great views of both the Burbank Airport and the Amtrak/Metrolink train station. It's also the perfect place for out-of-shape folks like me to exercise - because there are NO HILLS! Yes, it's totally flat! And bonus - since it was a hot day, the sprinklers were going; making it the perfect place to test-ride my newly restored folding bike!

I took it out of the trunk and unfolded it. The hinges have always been a little clunky to use and they still are, but the Metropolis guys put some oil/lube on them so they worked as well as they're ever going to work. Once I got it set up, I adjusted the seat, put my feet on the pedals, and started to ride ...

... when what to my wondering eyes did appear but a COYOTE - yes, a real live coyote! - headed straight for me!!

Well, I was a little nervous but what that coyote didn't know was that I'd spent a hectic morning chasing a pack of wild Chihuahuas away from my yard at home, and figured, hey, a dog is a dog, right? I'd gotten rid of the evil dogs by running towards them at full speed, yelling and waving a stick, which did the job quite nicely (also works for Jehovah's Witnesses btw ).

Anyway, so back at the cemetery, I figured I'd just do the same thing. Rather than turn wheel and run, I pedaled harder, directly TOWARDS him, shouting, "Bad dog! Bad dog!" That was all it took - he turned around and ran (followed closely by one of the cemetery groundskeepers, who'd been keeping a close eye on the situation from his tractor a few feet away).

All in all, I was quite pleased with my Schwinn Folding Bike's performance. Sure, the seat is still a little uncomfortable and it's a little hard to pedal. But it keeps the coyotes away, which is pretty much all I ask of any bike, folding or non-folding.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Obsession, or Why I Haven't Blogged for Two Weeks

Yeah, sorry about that. I tend to go on autopilot sometimes, and just can't stand doing any heavy thinking, much less writing, for days at a time.

I know I should be blogging more ... one of my commenters a couple of posts back said I should post every day.

Yeah, okay. Hmm. I don't think so! I have enough trouble hitting this thing once a week!

But in case you're interested, I do have some interesting stuff going on.

a) I've gotten into biking. Again. See, I have this tendency to get really excited about a subject, hobby, activity, religion (or lack thereof) for a while, till I reach the pinnacle of success with it. Then I get bored and move onto something else.

So two years ago, I got really into the idea of getting a bike. I wound up buying THREE bikes in a row:
  1. a Schwinn Explorer from the local bike shop, which turned out to be too big for me, so I never rode it.
  2. an Electra Townie, which was way more comfortable for me, but still, I never rode it.
  3. a Schwinn Hinge Folding Bike, which I ordered from Amazon, thinking, hey, a folding bike! I'll take it with me in the car and ride it whenever I see a nice bike path! Sure! Yeah! I never rode it.
I salvaged the Explorer with a bike trainer, which basically turns the whole bike into a stationary bike. Steve and I used it for a while, till we got tired of it.

The Townie sat in the garage, being wheeled out occasionally to keep it from rusting and to keep me from feeling guilty for spending so much $$ on it.

The folding bike I gave to my mother-in-law, who thought a friend of hers might want it.

But earlier this year, Steve and I made a trip to Kansas City to visit my Grandpa, and made a side trip to Sedalia, Missouri, where I'd spent a very happy three years as a teenager. While there, I showed Steve the places I used to go on my bike, and we were BOTH amazed to find out how far, and how confidently, I'd ridden.

Why had I stopped? Well, I'd gotten older, gotten a car, and gotten fat, pretty much in that order!

So when we got home, I thought about it, and thought about it, and then thought about it some more.

Then I wheeled the Townie out of the garage, pumped air into the tires, plopped my old helmet on my head and (deep breath) went for a ride around the block.

It actually felt ... not too shabby! So I started riding it more and more - not long distances (yet) but have gotten to the point where I can go to the Reseda Post Office and back, without a major amount of sweat.

And not only that, but one evening Steve's mother-in-law casually disclosed that she still had the folding bike, didn't want it anymore, and would I like it back? I said sure!

It, too, had flat tires, and I decided to take it to Metropolis Bikes, a bike shop I'd visited a few times, in North Hollywood, California, for a total tune-up.

It'll be ready for pickup tomorrow. I'll let you know next week how it rides.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Congrats - last two books given away!

OK, here's what I did. I decided to go back to the ORIGINAL contest comments, find two non-winners who HAD left their emails or at least were easy to contact, and just give THEM the two remaining copies of Michael Spencer's "Mere Churchianity".

And the lucky winnas - to be contacted as soon as I finish this post - are:


Yayy!! Congrats to both of you! I've sent you emails and as soon as I get your reply & mailing addresses, I'll pack 'em up and ship 'em out.

And if I don't hear from YOU guys in a week - well, let's just say I'm a registered Amazon Power Seller and I KNOW HOW TO SUBMIT USED BOOKS BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAHHHH!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Internet Forums, and why I'm not writing about them today

Sigh. I know.


I promised (both you and myself!) that I was going to write a nice, long, juicy review of various Internet religious forums that I participate in regularly, such as Catholic Answers,, and Ship of Fools.

I was going to tell you how these forums, and so many others, are so attractive in many ways, luring you in with the promise of intelligent, rational dialogue with others who are interested in the same issues you are.

And how, if you spend too much time on any of them (doesn't matter which, they're ALL the same), you will either become the bully or the bullied. And either way, your faith will waver.

I was going to back all this up with specific examples of threads I've seen or even participated in, to show how all this stuff plays out.

Yes, I was GOING to do all that.

Then the temperature went up to 107 degrees Fahrenheit.

So I went to the beach instead.

And you should too, if you can. 'Cause it's WAY too hot to even be in front of this computer!

See ya next week - and don't forget, any new comments on ANY of my blog posts, between now and Monday, qualify for the "Mere Churchianity" contest!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

"Mere Churchianity" - Second Chance for Free Copy!

Win a Free Copy of "Mere Churchanity"!

Hey, guys and gals! Since AG and IndieRoadie never got in touch with me, I'm just going to assume they no longer want their free copies of "Mere Churchianity" by the late great Michael Spencer (aka "The Internet Monk").

So if you've been pinin' away for one - here's your (second) chance!

The rules: Just post a comment to this post between now and next Monday, July 19, 2010. On that date, around 8 or 9 a.m.-ish (depending on what time my cat Princess wakes me up to feed her -

"talk to the paw" if you want me to be more specific) -

I'll put your names in a hat, or perhaps a Tupperware bowl, depending on what's clean/available, and pick out two lucky winners!

Rule #2 - based on the problem with the first time I did this contest, I'm going to
ask that you post your email address directly in the BODY of your comment, so I can easily contact you when you win.

That's all it is!

Yup, it's so easy! So go for it! Those copies are just sitting on my kitchen table, waiting for some happy reader to enjoy!

Meanwhile, just to whet your appetite and keep you reading: later this week I'll be doing an in-depth review of various religious forums on the Net, why 99.9% of them are hazardous to your faith - and why, in spite of that, we still keep going back to them!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Weekend Update: Last Chance for "Mere Churchianity"!

Happy Saturday morning, everyone! Hope you're all looking forward to a happy, explosive Fourth of July!

Reminder to AG and IndieRoadie: You have till Monday to let me know if you still want your free copies of Mere Churchianity (you won, remember??

AG and IndieRoadie, want this??

If I haven't heard from you by Monday, your two copies are up for grabs, and I'll announce the Second Chance Drawing - so stay tuned!

Do you live in an area where fireworks are legal? I have very fond memories of running around with sparklers, wielding them as swords against other kids.

Hey - think that's where George Lucas got the idea?

But just to remind you what this holiday's all about, check out this clip from one of the few Robin Williams movies I've ever been able to stomach that tells it all - enjoy!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Fool [for Christ] of the Week/Month/Year/Decade/Millenium (thus far): The Raving (A)Theist! (Part 2)

In Part 1 of my investigation of the conversion of the blogger formerly known as the Raving Atheist, I said that I wasn't sure his conversion was legit.

After all, he'd been known for posts of such breathtakingly excellent sarcasm in the past that even I, the Curvy Catholic (aka (A)Theist Gal, Stoogeswoman, and other witty nom de ploooooms throughout the entire dang World Wide Web) was taken in - such as his disturbingly well-written non-apology to me for nominating me Godidiot of the Week:

"Christine Lehman is not a Godidiot. I will not longer permit that dishonor to stain her reputation. Upon his return, I shall direct my webmaster to delete forever that cruel and unfortunate post.

For I have looked into the mirror. Shouldn’t we all?

So when, as noted earlier, I discovered that this highly sarcastic person had announced his conversion to Christianity, I wasn't the only one who was skeptical. Check out some of these comments from that post:

"I personally like to think that this blogger is the greatest troll of all time." (Sam)

Maybe you could provide us with some reasons for your conversion. Until you do that many of us atheists will just assume this is a prank. (Gary F.)

Yet another sheep baa-ing another pointless bleating because he couldn't be bothered to read any of the books that would have settled the matter (the Bible being one of them, Thomas Paine's "The Age of Reason" being another). (Holydust [on Pharyngula])

Now to be fair (and I'm sure R A/T will agree with me), some of the atheists' reactions were more reasonable than others. Not all atheists march in lockstep (anymore than do all Christians). But the general consensus among atheists, agnostics and skeptics was: It's either a hoax, or this guy's gone mental.

I didn't think it was a hoax, but I didn't think he'd gone mental either. People are always converting from one worldview to another, for an infinite number of reasons. Even the blogger Obsessed with Reality, while irritated by TRA's conversion, acknowledged that:

"I say then to anyone comfortable in his intellectually-based atheism: your atheism is a result of your personal worldview, and like all humans, your worldview is malleable, and mostly so when reality throws a hot cauldron full of shit into your life."

But what finally convinced me that it wasn't a hoax was this fantastic interview, conducted by blogger Elizabeth Esther earlier this year. I won't quote too much from it - it's worth a read all on its own! But apparently, it was RT's growing involvement in the pro-life movement that eventually triggered his conversion:

"In time, RT found it impossible to believe that the universe was created out of nothing. There was order, direction and love. Those things all pointed to some larger, unfathomable consciousness. He realized he could not believe that human hearts and minds came into being randomly."

What can I add to Elizabeth's excellent interview? Not a whole lot, I'm afraid. I don't now, and never did, know The Raving (A)Theist personally. We've only recently communicated by email (in which he alerted me to yet ANOTHER of his posts where he referenced me by name - "The Blog Code", an amusing parody of that Ron Howard movie - what was it called again? Splash? No, that's not it. Oh well, it'll come to me.) Anyway, he wrote:

"Christine Lehman, A Theist Gal
She is the militant archangel.
She’s a lethargic, militant hen.
She is that chilling man-eater.
Ghastliest, heathen criminal.
Hell! An atheistic nighmares.
(Another evangelical Catholic.)"

("And there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour." - Revelation 8:1)


Raving Theist, formerly known as Raving Atheist, welcome aboard the Barque of St. Peter!

It's a marginally seaworthy vessel with lots of alarming holes here and there. But - the more the merrier! And if we all work together, maybe we can bail out enough water to keep us afloat till we get to that other shore!

Monday, June 28, 2010

AG and IndieRoadie, wherefore art thou??

Part II of my piece about "The Raving Atheist" will be coming up later in the week. (Thanks for all the kind responses!)

However, just wanted to remind AG and IndieRoadie, winners of last week's "Mere Churchianity" contest, to send me an email at to claim your books.

I hope Zach and Brendan have received, and are enjoying, their free copies by now - please let us know what you think of it so far, guys!

And AG and IndieRoadie - if I don't hear from you by next Monday, I will hold a "Second Chance" drawing and give your copies to someone else. So c'mon guys, don't wait too long! I'll be watching my inbox!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Fool (for Christ!) of the Week: The Raving Theist (Part 1)

I used to laugh, but now I understand.
Shake the hand of a brand-new fool.

-- The Drifters

I used to be known (at least to the handful of people who read my site) as "Atheist Gal". In 2003, I changed my mind and became Theist Gal.

Frankly, I didn't think anyone had noticed, or cared - till one fine morning I discovered that a blogger styling himself "The Raving Atheist" had written the following:

This week’s Godidiot, Christine Lehman of A Theist Gal, was selected not for something she wrote but for what she is — an atheist who converted to Catholicism. Or, technically, a Catholic who converted to atheism who re-converted to Catholicism. Her site used to be called “Atheist Gal,” but she added the space between that “A” and the “theist” after Jesus snatched her back about a year ago.

Wow! I didn't know whether to be flattered or hurt. To be honest, I felt both! Hurt, because - come on, calling someone an idiot? Kind of mean. But flattered? Absolutely - because someone was actually paying attention to my little 5-hits-or-less-per-day website!

Anyway, if you read through the comments section, you'll see that I went to great pains to sound very amused, friendly and world-weary about the whole thing. But you know, there's just so many times you can say, "Thank you sir, may I have another?" without losing all respect for yourself.

So finally, I gave up, wished Raving well, and went on my merry way.

So imagine my surprise when, a couple of weeks ago, I was surfing the Net and wound up reading this, at Elizabeth Esther's lovely blog:

In December of 2008, the popular atheist blogger formerly known as "Raving Atheist" announced his stunning conversion to Christianity. He changed his blogging name to "Raving Theist" and dedicated his site "to Jesus Christ, now and forever."

I couldn't believe it! This had to be some sort of joke! Surely this couldn't be the same "Raving Atheist" who'd once written:

As far as I am concerned, people who wear their faith on their sleeve might as well be wearing dunce caps, “kick me” signs, or propeller beanies. They are shallow, self-centered, self-righteous and ignorant twits who should concentrate on educating themselves rather than imposing their half-baked, half-assed theology on everyone else.

So I checked the link in Elizabeth's article and found that - yes indeedy!! - on December 22, 2008, Raving had posted this astonishing statement:

Three years ago, I promoted and appeared in the atheist documentary “The God Who Wasn’t There,” dedicated to the proposition that Jesus never existed.


Um ... wow! Okay. I think. I was, shall we say, cautiously optimistic. I to believe it. But Raving did have a history of - shall we say - extreme sarcasm - as in this post from June 13, 2003, in which he pretended to apologize to me:

Christine Lehman is not a Godidiot. I will not longer permit that dishonor to stain her reputation. Upon his return, I shall direct my webmaster to delete forever that cruel and unfortunate post.

For I have looked into the mirror. Shouldn’t we all?

Yeah sure. And again, read the comments - I kinda realized it was a joke, but it took a while. Cause he was GOOD.

So before I started the "yay-an-atheist-is-a-Christian" victory dance (which all Christians must learn - it's in the Bible, as you know), I decided to email Raving for the straight dope. And in Part 2 of this story, I'll tell you what I found out!


Hey, good morning, everyone! And thanks so much to the seven wonderful people who commented on my blog last week - thus qualifying for a chance to win one of the 4 extra copies I purchased of Michael Spencer's Mere Churchianity!

The seven contestants are: AG, Brendan, E, IndieRoadie, joederbes, John, and Zach (and please note, I'm linking to your blogs, if you have them - free publicity! yay!).

I've just written their names on little pieces of paper (all the same size!) and put them into an empty vase (since the Tupperware bowl is currently in the fridge, full of leftover pasta).

I'm shaking up the vase (isn't this EXCITING??) and now I'm going to reach in - eyes closed! and pull out the name of the FIRST lucky winner! And that first lucky winner is: (drum roll please)

Congratulations, Zach! (Scroll to the bottom of the post for instructions on how to claim your prize.)

OK, time for winner #2, and it is:


Wow, congrats, IR! Let's move on quickly to #3:


Way to go, AG! Now there's just one copy left - who is it gonna be? (I can't wait!) - let's see:


Yayy! Congrats to all of you! Zach and Brendan, watch your email - I'll be contacting you to ask for your mailing addresses. IndieRoadie and AG, I don't have email addresses for you, so would you please contact me at Thanks!

And ... that's all, folks! I'm really sorry I didn't have more than four copies to give away - frankly, I'm so thrilled to have actually gotten SEVEN people to even READ my blog, much less COMMENT on it, that I would have been happy to give every one of you a free book. Unfortunately, economic circumstances being what they are, four is pretty much my limit.

HOWEVER - now that you've found this blog, I hope you'll stick around. Because later this week, I have a really cool story to tell you, about a popular Internet atheist who, rather quietly, became a Christian less than two years ago.

It's really a wonderful story, and had me smiling happily ever since I found out about it the other day - because as it happens, there's a personal connection between this former atheist and myself! So please, bookmark this page, and I promise to have the new post in place sometime before the weekend!

And to everyone who has managed to plod through this post so far - THANK YOU! Show's over - you may now proceed with the rest of your day!

Monday, June 14, 2010

One obituary Christians hated; and WIN A FREE BOOK!!

Many bloggers knew (if only by his own blog, Internet Monk) and loved the late, great Michael Spencer.

His obituary was one none of us wanted to read.

And his widow Diane's harrowing blog post today tells us a lot of the reason why.

Yes, it is hard to lose someone you love. And it's hard to see a "bright side".

But if there is a bright side to Michael's death, it is Michael's life. I don't know if anyone this side of heaven is keeping track of how many people his words at "Internet Monk" have helped. But I'm betting the stats number into the thousands, at least. And I'm humbly proud (is that a thing?) to count myself in there somewhere.

So on the bright side of this post (and yes, in a blatant attempt to raise my blog's hit count - hey, that's how you get people to read you, right?), I'm starting a contest:

FOUR BRAND-NEW COPIES of Michael Spencer's newly published book, Mere Churchianity!

How It Works:

1. Post a (non-spamming) comment on this blog post. (Be sure to include your email!)

2. One week from today (June 21st) at, oh, let's say 10 a.m. (Los Angeles, CA time), I will put the names of everyone who's commented (only one entry per person, sorry!) into a Tupperware bowl, and draw out four names.

3. I'll then e-mail the lucky winners for their addresses, and send them their books!

And again, yes, this is partly to see if I can get more people to read my blog.

But you know what? It's also because I read Michael's book when it was released on the Kindle a couple of weeks ago. And I really loved it!

And I think you will, too.

So come on ... what are you waiting for? Post already!!!

(and P.S. - thanks!!)

Monday, June 7, 2010

Obituaries Christians Like (and yes, I'm plagiarizing !)

I'll say right up front that I'm plagiarizing Jon Acuff's wonderful blog Stuff Christians Like, but it occurred to me this morning that whenever a famous person dies, the first thing a really serious Christian does is check to see if they ever, at any point in their lives, publicly expressed even a minimal amount of faith in Jesus Christ.

Then they breathe a sigh of relief: "whew, I don't have to worry that he/she might be in Hell!"

For example, in the latest round of celebrity, the late Art Linkletter was a "gimmee" - he has long been known as a professing Christian. So he can be presumed to be "safe".

Art Linkletter, well-known Christian: SAFE!

On the other hand, there's a long and, apparently, semi-serious debate at Yahoo! Answers about the eternal fate of poor Gary Coleman. He may, or may not, at some point in his life, been involved in some way with the Mormons. Whether that helps him or not is debatable (of course!).


As I get older, I tend to think God (aka Jesus Christ, late of Galilee and Nazareth) is a lot more patient with us than we think. And that there will be a lot of pleasant surprises in Heaven. Including, perhaps, Gary Coleman.

Q: "Whatchoo talkin' bout, Curvy Catholic?"
A: "Grace!"

Friday, May 21, 2010

Need a plumber?

But not necessarily like these guys?

Here's the story: I was doing my Shovelglove routine a little too enthusiastically this morning (also without the "glove"), and, long story short, broke a pipe.


But after a few failed attempts to fix it on my own, I decided to bite the bullet and call a plumber. The Stooges must have been looking down from heaven, because I found these guys: Schuelke Plumbing - and they did a great job!

That's Schuelke Plumbing, 1-800-397-0093 - and they ain't payin' me a penny for this fabulous endorsement, nyuk nyuk!

But seriously, they did WAYYY better work than these guys woulda done:

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Let's face the music and ... diet? Nahhh!!

Well, I do have to face the music, come clean, 'fess up, whatever: like 95% of my fellow dieters, I have regained almost all the weight I lost a couple of years ago - I've gone from a low of 180 to - this morning - 213 pounds.

That's 33 pounds.

Sorry, Mr. President!

But I'm not going back to Weight Watchers, because the regain started while I was going there. In fact, if you look back at my posts from last year, I was already well on the way upward and couldn't seem to reconnect with the whole program mentality.

And being unemployed since December (not to mention homebound for two months with acute bronchitis earlier this year) didn't help either.

Despite my best intentions,

there are times when I feel a distinct sisterhood with Peggy Bundy.

But as they say (especially in the Catholic Church, of which I'm a full-fledged Rosary-carrying member!), confession is good for the soul. So now that I've told THE WHOLE WORLD (or at least my husband) about this, I can decide what to do.

Exercise more? Definitely. Especially since the weather's getting warmer. I had been going to 24 Hour Fitness two or three times a week, but now I'm going to start doing some nice, long walks as well. I should be doing SOMETHING - either the gym or the walk - every day of the week.

Diet? Well - maybe not. I may give the "No S Diet" another try. But I do kind of need the "s"'s, especially while watching those damn Scrubs reruns every afternoon.

OK, smart gal, how about this:

No more Scrubs reruns every afternoon!

Aahhh!! Well, we don't have to go that far! But yeah, I definitely need to cut back on my afternoon TV viewing - that seems to be when I get in the most trouble, snack-wise.

Well, I have to cut this post short, as Steve P. is out of the shower and I know he wants to get on the computer. Thanks, sweetie! I'll write more about this later.

Oh, and tomorrow, after church?

Just ONE doughnut for me, 'kay?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

When the overly chatty rector starts undressing, it's time to go home

This morning I decided, on a whim, to attend the 10 a.m. "Holy Communion" Service at a nearby Episcopalian church.

Disclaimer: I'm not now, nor have I ever been, an Episcopalian. As the title of the blog should have told you by now, I'm a Catholic. Byzantine Catholic, to be exact.*

But being a C.S. Lewis fan(atic), I have a soft spot for Anglicans. And since there wasn't a Divine Liturgy at our church this morning, and I was in the mood for a good liturgy, and had noticed this particular Episcopalian church's schedule while driving by on the way to and from 24-Hour Fitness, I decided - today was the day!

CLUE #1 that this was the wrong decision: I pulled into the parking lot just behind a sweet, elderly, white-haired lady, who walked in through a locked gate - and pulled it tightly shut behind her, just before I made it through. And kept walking, without so much as a "Sorry, we have to keep it locked if we don't know you." Which I would have understood. But silence? Hmmm.

CLUE #2: I walked around the block and found another entrance into the church, and sat in a pew towards the rear. It was ten minutes before 10:00 a.m.

And no one else was there. EXCEPT a man standing at the altar, noisily thumping books, fiddling with the tabernacle door, and chatting on a cell phone, all at the same time. Admirable! However, I was there to pray, so I did my best.

But alas, it was not to be, because:

CLUE #3: Said chatty gentleman suddenly started walking down the aisle towards me, talking to me while frocking himself in semi-priestly garb. "Sorry, we're only having Morning Prayer today, because Father's still out at the ranch," he shared with me. Embarrassed, I muttered something to the effect that, since I'd never been there before, I wouldn't really know the difference.

"What?" he shouted, over the buzzing sound of a voice inside his cell phone.

"Um, I said, 'That's OK!'" I shouted back.

He nodded and walked out, still struggling with his clothing and yakking to the unseen voice (distinctly female, so probably not God, although on the other hand, this WAS an Episcopalian church so who knows?).

Anyway, at that point I suddenly realized that this service, if it ever got underway, was going to consist solely of myself and Chatty Cathy, and decided this was probably NOT the best place for me to commune silently with the Lord.

So I left, waving halfheartedly to C.C., who was standing outside the door, sucking on a cigarette and still only partially clad.

Then I drove as fast as my little Toyota would carry me to 24-Hour Fitness, where I communed with the Almighty via the rowing machine.

If any Episcopalians are reading this ... um ... was this Rite One or Rite Two?

*Technically speaking, Roman Catholic married to Byzantine Catholic. But it's all good.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Oh, the Pain!

For anyone (other than my faithful hubby) who may be reading this, and may care, I just got stung by a bee.

On my toe. The one just to the right of my big toe, on my right foot.

"How did it happen, Ma'am?"

Well, I was walking barefoot in the grass (alas!) in our front yard, reaching up for a nice, juicy mulberry (they've just started to ripen, yum yum!!), when my foot happened to trespass on a patch of purple clover currently being occupied by Aunt Bee, who made her displeasure known.

So watch your step today, friends, somewhere out there, there's a bee with YOUR name on it!

Friday, April 30, 2010

I'm ba-a-a-ck!!

OK, I have a confession to make. (I am Catholic, after all.)

After my last post here, I started a new "anonymous" blog, here.

As the title said, no one WAS reading it. I needed that for a while, because I had been feeling the need to get some things off my chest (42DD, last time I checked, thank you very much) without anyone reading them.

And let's face it - if you really want to say something online, and have absolutely NOBODY know you're saying it, the absolute best place to do it is in a brand new blog! Am I right? High five!

I'm not going to discontinue the other blog, because I really like the way it looks. Hey, no offense, Blogger, but WordPress is just, well, classier looking. There, I said it! Sorry!

But hey, classy isn't everything, right? If it was, Paris Hilton wouldn't be a celebrity! So here I am, your own 200-pound Paris Hilton, ready to take up the pen (metaphorically speaking) and rock your bloggin' world!

Or something.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Blog ends! (or ... does it? Um ... yeah, prolly!)

I know, I know - it's always sad when something ends, isn't it?

When "Gone With the Wind" ended, you cried, right? Admit it.

When Dorothy said, "There's no place like home!", you bawled like a baby, didn't you? Didn't you? (Hey, don't lie to me - I can see you, y'know!)

So anyway, for those of you who've faithfully followed this blog, "The Curvy Catholic", all the way from its beginning (all, erm, two? of you), I'm sorry to tell you that this is THE END of this blog.


OK, here's the reason: and I'm being brutally honest and frank right now: I'm BORED with it.

(Whew!) There - I said it!

Yes, the enthusiasm for losing weight via Curves for Women and Weight Watchers has waned, somewhat. Plus I'm not really that enthusiastic on the Catholic front anymore either.

Oh, I still attend church with my hubby, and I do my best not to ruffle anyone's feathers with my semi-heretical viewpoints.

And I do love the people at our church, who are the MAIN reason I continue going, and trying.

And I definitely am NOT giving up on being fit, and exercising. I continue to love and enjoy my two-year non-refundable membership at 24 Hour Fitness, which I bought for myself last year shortly before losing my job ... a gift from my employed self to my unemployed self.

That was probably the smartest move I've ever made in all my bumbling efforts to lose weight and find inner peace.

Because guess what? I LOVE to lift weights, do resistance training, etc.! It's fun and I love the way my muscles feel after I've really gone to town on those dumbbells (and not just the ones at the front desk - nyuk nyuk!).

And in between workout days at the gym, I'm going on walks. Long walks, out in the "cheap showiness of nature". There are a lot of really nice parks and malls and gardens and nature trails out here in Southern Cal, and I'm (re)discovering quite a few of them.

In addition to all that moving around, I'm going back to school - having enrolled in several classes at Grand Canyon University (online). Not the best college in the world (my long-suffering hubby has heard me griping about them more than once), but hey, it's a start.

And - beats workin'! (Nyuk nyuk!) Yeah ... there's that, too. I'm now officially unemployed - downsized from my lofty post as Word Processing Operator at PricewaterhouseCoopers in downtown L.A. since December 11, 2009. I was sure that I'd have a whole lot of free time after that, and be able to spend more time online, writing The Blog to End All Blogs.

However, what's really happened is I've been AVOIDING this blog. My life has changed dramatically, and I'm just not really sure that "losing weight" is my primary goal anymore.

So to make a long post even longer, this is probably IT for my incarnation as "The Curvy Catholic". And again ... waahhhh ...

Yet it may not be my last incarnation. (After all - THIS one wasn't.) I do still have dreams, vague at the moment but ready to take shape in some amorphous future still waiting to happen, of writing The Blog to End All Blogs.

The Blog to make all other bloggers fall down in shame before me.

The Blog that will change the world!!!

Ummm ... yeah, right. Actually, I'd just be happy with a blog more than two people read on a regular basis!

So I'll be thinking about that. And I'll be thinking of you, Faithful Reader(s). And thank you for your support. And if you've read this far, my deepest sympathies!!

And by the way - just one more thing - for anyone who cares - my last weigh-in at Weight Watchers was 195.0.

And I think I'm happy with that. I think I can go on with that.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Goodbye Weight Watchers (or, how the Curvy Catholic killed yet ANOTHER small business!)

Hmm, well, apparently I am death to certain types of small businesses.

First I killed off Downtown Curves at Bunker Hill.

Then it was It Figures in Sherman Oaks.

Now, as of Saturday morning, approximately 7:30 a.m., I managed to kill off the Saturday 7 A.M. Weight Watchers meeting (in the same strip mall as the late and lamented It Figures).

Let's hope whoever's pulling all these strings doesn't notice that I've fallen head over heels in love with a certain location of 24-Hour Fitness!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Happy New Year! (or What do you mean, I haven't posted for a long time? Define "time"!)

Hi everyone!

Well, it's only been, what, a month and a half since my last post? Less than that, really. What can I say, it's just been a busy time for me.

And yes (sigh) if you're going to drag it out of me, I did get a little discouraged there, for a while. Because my weight just kept creeping up and up and up and UP and I couldn't seem to get the little needle on the scale to bounce in the opposite direction.

But here I am, happy to report that, although I was, indeed, all the way up to ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE POUNDS last Saturday, I treated that like the wake-up call it was, and took the following actions:

1. Bought a two-year nonrenewable 24 Hour Fitness membership through Costco for $299.

2. Used it.

3. Also went for a couple of long walks around Lake Balboa (in the Sepulveda Basin).

And thanks to those, and my decision to get back on track and start losing again, I am proud to report that at this past Saturday's weigh-in, I did indeed FINALLY make the needle move in the right way. Left, that is. I mean, depending on your viewpoint. I mean, there really isn't even a needle, it's a digital scale and --


Oh yeah, my weight. Down 1.8 pounds, to 193.2. Happy now?